Cold Sports*

Riding switch is like writing left-handed while wearing a chip hat and being attacked by seagulls!! 

Sometimes I don’t walk, I put on skis and whoosh down a mountain-side (if I lived nearer a ski-able mountain I’d probably be out there all the time).

Photo by Jörg Angeli on Unsplash
/\ I will never be able to do this…

I also like to watch other folks – who are better than me at it – doing this on telly, so the Winter Olympics is always looked forward to; it’s the only major sporting event I’m really interested in.

The joy of sitting on the edge of the sofa watching the athletes do mad things is added to by the brilliant commentary of Ed Leigh and Tim Warwood. I absolutely love their enthusiasm and the way they explode into complete squeaky voiced overexcitement at the astonishing things slope style riders do, while also keeping up with their 180 times table.

I’ve collected some of their commentating gems from PyeongChang 2018 below, for my own enjoyment more than anything…and I’ll be trying to insert this first one into all the meetings I go to from now on:

“You don’t need to be a rocket surgeon” (you don’t need to be a what?)

“Get some Panadol down there because there’ll be headaches aplenty”  (ouch)

“He’s got no business doing that there” (of a halfpiper attempting a tricky move in, I presume, the wrong end of the halfpipe)

“The Harry Potter of the halfpipe world” (expelliamus!)

“Most winningest of men’s ski halfpipers” (most ‘winningest’ I love them)

“He needs a smokescreen and some mirrors here to help him with this” (…?)

“…it slipped out his fingers like the last LCD TV in Dixon’s in Black Friday” (I didn’t witness this myself so not sure what slipped out his fingers, a medal?)

“THAT was a bloody Dracula!” (during the snowboard Big Air…I have NO idea what this means)

The BBC – because they are fab – have also saved us some Slopestyle commentary , listen out for the Anne Boleyn one:

unsplash-logoVidar Nordli-Mathisen

*I pinched that from CBBC’s Hacker the Dog…

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